Ode to Doritos

Not too long ago I had a conversation with a good friend that included  a sort of question and answer session about food.  I’ve kind of become that person around here that people sometimes come to with questions about what to eat and what not to eat.  Most people stop asking when they realize that I’m only going to confirm what they already know.  If you’re living off of drive-thru fare and soda, you don’t need me to tell you what to do to lose weight or get healthy.  You could even spend money every month on a gym membership or whatever, but we all know, even with exercise, you cannot out-train a bad diet.  That’s the obvious stuff.  The less obvious stuff is when someone–like me for instance–is doing all they can, eating what they think is healthy food, working out, counting calories, carbs, fat grams, points, whatever… and they still can’t lose.  Then, you’re probably a victim of the diet industry and the lies they tell you to get rich, or… you’re not being honest with yourself about what you’re really putting in your mouth, and therefore your body.  I am an example of someone who really, really tried to do it by the good ol’ “calories in, calories out” philosophy, complete with bodybugg monitoring and all.  I believe that the flaw was not in the calorie quantity, but calorie quality.  Just staying at or below a certain number of calories is not necessarily fueling your body.  Anyways–that’s another post for another time–back to this convo with my friend….  Well, this friend began to list to me the “reasons” (ie..excuses) regarding their eating habits and choices.  Excuses, excuses, I will be the first to tell you that I have made my share of them.  Weight loss, diet, exercise, it comes down to one thing…commitment.  (But even that is for a separate post)

My focus today is something we can all relate to, no problem, and that is EMOTIONAL eating.  OMG!!  As soon as William goes through the work calendar and tells me he’s going to be gone Monday to Friday twice next month–all I can think is… DORITOS!!  My go-to comfort food, good buddy, never let me down friend in good times and bad.  Me and Doritos (sigh),  we go way back.

So there are at least a hundred emotions that make us resort to taking comfort in a big bag of deep-fried potato, corn or some form of sweetened batter.  Like…anger, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, jealousy, joy, boredom, worry, resentment, grief, self-pity, self-celebration, anxiety, fear, and so on and so on.  It happens so fast for me I don’t even have time to register the actual emotion. I was just sitting there and then all of a sudden I had a bag of Doritos in my hand and then all of a sudden it was empty.  So how do we combat this demon and exorcise it once and for all?  Could it be?  Do I have the answer to the age-old emotional eating dilemma?  Of course not people, who am I?  But I do have some experience in this particular realm and so I can tell you what works for me when I feel it coming.  And yes, it may happen fast, but I know it’s coming every time.

SO… to begin with–SLOW DOWN!  WAIT!!  Take a moment to identify the emotion in question and then… just FEEL it. So you’re sad, well BE sad for a minute then.  I mean, sad stuff happens in life.  My friend was dealing with grief, or NOT dealing with grief, and so instead my friend was eating the grief.  Losing someone you love is unbearable sometimes, and it comes in waves, those flashes of memory that take your breath, making you smile and cry all at once.  I think when it comes to grief the best way to deal with it is to REMEMBER.  Don’t push all your memories away in a box like this loved one never existed.  Talk to the person, get up and say, “Hey Ma, I know you’re up there.  Guess what I’ve got going on today? You won’t believe this…”  Tell your kids a story about the person you lost.  Light a candle for em, just seriously, I’m not trying to be cliche, but really, keep them alive in your heart.  And always, always ask the question about any emotion, “Will the food change the situation?” Will the Big Mac bring back my brother, friend, or even my pet?  (Yes people, that can be some serious stuff!)  Will the dozen doughnuts put more money in the bank?  Will the fries and milkshake cure my friend of cancer?  Will the whole cake make my birthday any more special than it is right now?  The answer is always, definitively, and undoubtably NO!  All it changes is how you feel about yourself in 20 minutes.  So again, just FEEL what you’re feeling for a moment.  But then–Get Over It!  I know I know, so easy to say so hard to accomplish…anyways…

Next… I MOVE. I get out of the house and therefore the kitchen, I take my dogs for a walk, get some air, and just keep moving.  Eventually the desire to totally binge eases up and now I think I’ll only eat half the bag of Doritos.  So I keep walking and breathing until I feel that I can look at that bag and tell it…that I don’t need it after all.  You don’t have dogs or a place to walk in those moments you say?  Well, DANCE–#1 cure for all heart-sickness in my humble opinion.  Why not just go do a couple flights of stairs in your building?  Or if you’re working, just work HARDER for a little while.  Again, I don’t have the solution, just my own tactics to offer you.  But your body follows your mind I think so just do something with your body so your mind forgets the foot-long sub in the fridge.

Then… Unload.  Talk someone’s head off!  Surely someone will listen.  If not…journal, blog, put in on facebook, whatever.  Get those emotions OUT–Dump em on someone else!  Not so they can get all depressed or whatever, but chances are if they’re a real friend, they’ll encourage you, uplift you, make you laugh, or give a good ole serving of tough love to help you get it together.  But that’s what we’re here for…to share each other’s lives, good and bad, and help each other out.  You know the famous words, “Keep smilin’, keep shinin’, knowin’ you can always count on me…for sure..that’s what friends are for”

So that’s what I do when I feel an emotional binge coming on.  I apologize to you now if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of my “unloading,” but I also thank you thank you thank you for being a friend and giving me a chance to let it out.  I do battle with food every day.  I know my enemies and they sometimes get me down and wounded, but I am committed to this fight and I will prevail!!  Doritos, you have not seen the last of me yet!!!

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Hump Day Happenings in the Hobgood Household

Nothing like a title that exemplifies alliteration…

So it’s “Hump-Day,” which really came fast.  Many friends are beginning their countdown to New York City–a trip that yes–I was supposed to go on–but backed out on last minute.  Why? you ask, well… it had something to do with money, the cost of the trip itself was a bargain but what about all that stuff I was gonna want and couldn’t afford?  It also had a little something to do with the combination of bedbugs and subways.  These two things should never be experienced on one trip, right?  And of course they will not be an issue, but for me in my overblown imagination, the thoughts of both were enough for me to inquire about getting out of the trip–then before I knew it–my seat was sold and my money was back in hand.  Soo–PiYo training here I come!  As you know, I completed my Turbo Kick certification in September, so in December I will complete training to teach PiYo, a Yoga-Pilates fusion for hyper people.  Sort of like, you do the stuff and get the physical benefits, but skip the whole mind-body fung-shui, zen stuff.

Anyways, this post is entitled “Hump Day Happenings” so here’s what’s up for the day…

1. School–finishing up WWII study with The Diary of Anne Frank and Into the Arms of Strangers

2.  Bake and Ice 52 cupcakes

3. Workout–tried a new TK round but gosh–had NO energy to make it worth it– SO sore from Turbulence Training

4.  Dentist–Jalen had a cleaning and all is well–but looks like we’ll have to, in the good dentist’s words, “get him to ortho early”-YAY!

5.  Finish Social Studies Project–OMG!!  This has been hanging over my head for a month–I mean–Didn’t I get through 5th grade once before?

6.  Church–almost skipped because of the weather–I mean severe thunderstorm warnings and tornadoes are no big deal right?  But William says I’m being dramatic so off we go…

Gosh my energy is so non-existent this week.  Maybe because I started a new workout program and I’m really sore–or maybe because I lost focus completely yesterday and ate a whole bag of cheese balls.  But I just can’t seem to get motivated today.  I guess I’m just stuck on the Hump.

 

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DONT Call Me a “HOUSEWIFE!!”

A disclaimer to begin with:  I love my roles–jobs you might call them–as wife and mother–I am neither denying that I live in a house and am a wife–nor am I debating whether women should work or stay at home or whatever–I’m simply saying–call me lots of things if you must–but DONT call me a HOUSEWIFE!

So I went through the feminist thing.  Back in college, being well-versed in all things Victorian literature, particularly Jane Austen–I went through the phase in which I firmly believed I would never let marriage or children or pets or chores hold me back from my goals or define me.  I was ME.  I was a young woman, I had plans, I was all “be free” and “if you got it, flaunt it,” and “don’t be confined to society’s norms,” and all that hear me roar stuff.  Looking back on those sentiments I can’t say I’m a totally different person now, but I can say that having not accomplished some of the things I set out to accomplish back then, and actually becoming the homeschooling mom and wife with all those stupid dogs–I remain neither held back nor defined by any of it.  However, I do completely and unequivocally reject the label, “Housewife.”  Why, you may ask.  Well let me explain…

First of all– “house.”  The one place in the world I love to be but somehow never find myself.  As a mom I find that more and more of the tasks attached to the job take you OUT of the house.  I would love time to just be in my house–relaxing after a good meal with a cup of coffee and a good book– but I find myself more often running up and down the road–yes–sometimes literally–just trying to get everyone where they’re supposed to be–which is rarely–at the house.  Also–a house is just a building.  I prefer to consider our house, a HOME.  A place of comfort, security, love, and fun.  The one place anyone in this family can always enter knowing that someone is glad to see them, happy they’re “home.”  “House” also reminds me of all the chores that still need doing and I really don’t need that hanging over my head thank you very much.

And then the word– WIFE.  ABSOLUTELY I regard my role as wife to be my utmost earthly responsibility.  I want above all other things–yes–even being a good mom–to be a good wife.   If I’m a godly wife then naturally it would only follow that I would also be a good mom.  So I do often consult the good ol’ classic Proverbs 31 and ask myself if I am truly a wife of noble character.  Usually I just close the Bible and say, “Who could do all that anyway??” KIDDING!!  When the good Lord reveals to me my faults through His Word I seek His help in repairing those flaws, which by the way, is daily.  Actually that’s one thing He revealed to me not long ago.  That I am sort of “achievement” minded you might say.  Had it not been for His timing I would never have gotten married as young as I did and become a mother at 21.  But if it weren’t for those blessings– I know for a fact I would’ve spent my life chasing achievements-probably in the form of degrees and while we’re dreaming of what will never be–Pulitzers as well.  So I’m thankful indeed that instead of a Newberry Award or what-not–I have a crown waiting for me in Heaven.

But back to the “housewife” thing.  All I’m saying is that I am neither defined by my residence, nor my relationship to William.  I hate it when in conversations he relays to me that he said, “yeah my wife” this or “my wife just” that.  I’m always like- I DO have a name. And if he’s talking about someone else’s wife I always ask, “What’s her name again?”  Because I know that while she’s such and such’s wife–she’s more than likely a whole lot more.  WIFE–like HUSBAND–encompasses so many characteristics.  Friendship and  loyalty I regard as the two most important.  I would go on and on–and maybe one day I will–but for now I wanted to simply say that I am  more than a wife sitting in a house twiddling her thumbs awaiting the return of her husband.  I’m sure the survey guy on the phone had no idea how the wheels of my mind would start turning when he asked my employment status then said with an audible shrug I swear–“Oh, so you’re  a housewife.”

To Prove it–Here is a List of What I am!!

Wife, Mom, Sister, Friend, Daughter, Dog-lover, Babysitter, Teacher, Blogger, Turbo Kick Instructor, Fitness Fanatic, Cook, lover of Books, Child of God, Sister in Christ, –and in my own mind I am also a singer and a dancer–so THERE!!  Call me what you will–just don’t call me a HOUSEWIFE!!

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CAN NOT WAIT!!!

Okay–so in case you didn’t know–I CAN NOT WAIT!!!  Turbo Kick training is TOMORROW and I have not been this excited about something in… I don’t know how long.  I’m all set up to start teaching at the Y here in November so I am PUMPED!!  Hopefully I don’t suck at it–but either way–I’m just PSYCHED to get to do something I love and share the benefits with others.  My intention is to get certified later to teach PiYo-another Powder Blue format.  Just so you know– I love Chalene Johnson and all things Turbo–Here’s why!

Who could resist it?? SO MUCH FUN! Join me at the Y in November!!

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Say it Ain’t So…

Seriously??? It’s September??  The birthday/ anniversary weekend is over and I’ve now been married for 12 years and am officially 33–is that what’s referred to as “middle-aged?”  I’m just wondering–where has the time gone?  I know I say that all of the time, about how fast the week went or the month, but now I’m like, “Where did the last 12 years go??”  I look at Jordan and sometimes really, I just FREAK OUT!  Where did my baby go?  And who IS this young lady who replaced her?  With the body and the attitude and the humor and all that gorgeousness?  Can’t take it!!  And Avery, who lost the “baby” look years ago I know, but still, I see those long legs and I just want to cry.  She’s been my sidekick for the last seven years, and now, as she finds herself being more comfortable without me I find myself wanting to hold on for dear life and just… pull her back to my bosom and never let go.  I suppose we always knew the day would come but… now that it’s here it’s just sad.

So here’s my list of things I just can’t accept or get over…

1.  Adolescence— I went through it and I know it was bad, but goodness it comes back with a vengeance.  All those little smart-aleck comments I made, the nonchalance, the hair-flipping, the eye-rolling, spin-around like no one’s talking to you–it’s all back,  but after 20 years they’re all new and improved.

2.  Belly-Bulge–Is this really what I get in return for bringing two beautiful girls into this world?  And of course it’s not enough to have a jelly roll belly–but it’s got to be decorated with an elaborate design of stretch marks.  Thanks.  Thanks a lot.

3.  Adult Acne– I mean, what is the deal with this??  Clear skin all my life aside from the occasional pimple (gross word)–survived the teenage years unscathed by blemishes until NOW.  Turn 30 (or 30-something) and suddenly–full-fledged breakouts.  I mean the get on the Proactiv hotline kind of breakouts.  Again–thanks a lot.

4.  Working out daily–even vigourously–does not allow for unlimited calorie intake. I know the rule–“calories in, calories out.”  I have all the tools, the monitors, the menus, the mantras, etc…but somehow–this concept just does not seem to take full register in my brain.  (refer back to #2)

And seriously…

4.  Children may not hear a word you say to them, but they hear everything you say about them. You just try to find a moment to report to another adult on  the kid’s latest shenanigans and see if you can get one minute of privacy.  They’re like gnomes or something, popping out of nowhere, appearing out of thin air.  Then, of course, you need someone to do a chore and the whole household’s disappeared.  Maybe I just have a houseful of magicians in the making.

5.  Children may not hear a word you say to them, but they hear everything you say to their brother or sister. No one in this house ever knows what I told them to do.  Strangely though, they always know what I told someone else to do.  I’m telling you, these are some talented kids.

6.  Children may not hear a word you say to them, but they’ve got their eyes on every move you make. Enough said, we all know it’s true.  Just wait ’til one day your words and actions don’t exactly “line up,”–you’ll hear about it.

And finally, and really seriously…

7.  It is better to be an encourager, rather than a policeman. Something else that seems so easy to understand, and yet SO HARD to actually apply.  Clearly no one responds well to being beat over the head with constant reminders of their faults or mistakes, but that method seems so much easier than -da da duuum–LEADING BY EXAMPLE! I mean, next thing you know you’ll have to practice what you preach and all that. Gasp!!  In faith, in health, in life–it’s clear that people respond to what they see and not so much what they hear.  So then why do I talk so loud?

I’ve got hearing-impaired magicians running around and me struggling with the greater truths in life… all I know is… William’s got to set a good example or we’re doomed!

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Blue Ridge Vacation 2010

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The Proof!

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