A disclaimer to begin with: I love my roles–jobs you might call them–as wife and mother–I am neither denying that I live in a house and am a wife–nor am I debating whether women should work or stay at home or whatever–I’m simply saying–call me lots of things if you must–but DONT call me a HOUSEWIFE!
So I went through the feminist thing. Back in college, being well-versed in all things Victorian literature, particularly Jane Austen–I went through the phase in which I firmly believed I would never let marriage or children or pets or chores hold me back from my goals or define me. I was ME. I was a young woman, I had plans, I was all “be free” and “if you got it, flaunt it,” and “don’t be confined to society’s norms,” and all that hear me roar stuff. Looking back on those sentiments I can’t say I’m a totally different person now, but I can say that having not accomplished some of the things I set out to accomplish back then, and actually becoming the homeschooling mom and wife with all those stupid dogs–I remain neither held back nor defined by any of it. However, I do completely and unequivocally reject the label, “Housewife.” Why, you may ask. Well let me explain…
First of all– “house.” The one place in the world I love to be but somehow never find myself. As a mom I find that more and more of the tasks attached to the job take you OUT of the house. I would love time to just be in my house–relaxing after a good meal with a cup of coffee and a good book– but I find myself more often running up and down the road–yes–sometimes literally–just trying to get everyone where they’re supposed to be–which is rarely–at the house. Also–a house is just a building. I prefer to consider our house, a HOME. A place of comfort, security, love, and fun. The one place anyone in this family can always enter knowing that someone is glad to see them, happy they’re “home.” “House” also reminds me of all the chores that still need doing and I really don’t need that hanging over my head thank you very much.
And then the word– WIFE. ABSOLUTELY I regard my role as wife to be my utmost earthly responsibility. I want above all other things–yes–even being a good mom–to be a good wife. If I’m a godly wife then naturally it would only follow that I would also be a good mom. So I do often consult the good ol’ classic Proverbs 31 and ask myself if I am truly a wife of noble character. Usually I just close the Bible and say, “Who could do all that anyway??” KIDDING!! When the good Lord reveals to me my faults through His Word I seek His help in repairing those flaws, which by the way, is daily. Actually that’s one thing He revealed to me not long ago. That I am sort of “achievement” minded you might say. Had it not been for His timing I would never have gotten married as young as I did and become a mother at 21. But if it weren’t for those blessings– I know for a fact I would’ve spent my life chasing achievements-probably in the form of degrees and while we’re dreaming of what will never be–Pulitzers as well. So I’m thankful indeed that instead of a Newberry Award or what-not–I have a crown waiting for me in Heaven.
But back to the “housewife” thing. All I’m saying is that I am neither defined by my residence, nor my relationship to William. I hate it when in conversations he relays to me that he said, “yeah my wife” this or “my wife just” that. I’m always like- I DO have a name. And if he’s talking about someone else’s wife I always ask, “What’s her name again?” Because I know that while she’s such and such’s wife–she’s more than likely a whole lot more. WIFE–like HUSBAND–encompasses so many characteristics. Friendship and loyalty I regard as the two most important. I would go on and on–and maybe one day I will–but for now I wanted to simply say that I am more than a wife sitting in a house twiddling her thumbs awaiting the return of her husband. I’m sure the survey guy on the phone had no idea how the wheels of my mind would start turning when he asked my employment status then said with an audible shrug I swear–“Oh, so you’re a housewife.”
To Prove it–Here is a List of What I am!!
Wife, Mom, Sister, Friend, Daughter, Dog-lover, Babysitter, Teacher, Blogger, Turbo Kick Instructor, Fitness Fanatic, Cook, lover of Books, Child of God, Sister in Christ, –and in my own mind I am also a singer and a dancer–so THERE!! Call me what you will–just don’t call me a HOUSEWIFE!!