Jon and Kate–too little, too late?

Might as well join in on the talk and the frenzy surrounding the famous Gosselins.  Of course it’s no business of mine, but then again… they do get thousands of dollars an episode to show the world how they’re dealing with the stress of multiples and now, tabloids.  I can’t determine who the villain is in this situation.  Is it me?  Or is it them?

I can’t necessarily call it entertainment at this point.  I mean when the little kids were just sort of growing up and doing little kid stuff, yeah.  But now–now it’s a real drama showcasing a hyper-publicized marriage at a breaking point.  To be a voyeur at this stage in their family life just seems wrong–and yet, the DVR was set to record the long awaited season premiere.  I don’t know if I’m wrong to anticipate how the season unfolds, or if they’re wrong to continue filming at this crucial moment in their lives.

Everyone has an opinion on who’s at fault for the wrongs in the marriage.  Kate is quite outspoken and demanding, not to mention, critical and harsh.  But we can all see where it would be a hard line to draw as far as when to be in control and when to submit to the authority of your husband.  I mean–even with 3 kids it’s a hard line, I cannot imagine how it is with 8.  Jon–well–he seems to be  a good dad, but what man wants to stay at home with 8 kids while his wife travels the country getting spray tans and highlights?  That isn’t exactly ‘bringing home the bacon.’  I tend to side with him, saying he’s been  victimized by her scrutiny and criticism–but hey, he’s got a mouth–he can say stop talking to me like that or whatever.  While there are 4 seasons that document her dominating him everywhere from home to the pumpkin patch, they also prove that he hasn’t exerted himself as the head of his household.  Plus, no matter what happens, you can never blame someone else for your own choices.  While they may be a factor or influence, the final decisions are your own.  Jon addressed that in the show, but his apology to his family seemed somewhat weak and insincere to me.  He had a real, “Who cares” attitude, which probably comes from his derned if I do, derned if I don’t position.

The saddest part of the whole thing is that the end of the show seemed to serve as a prelude to divorce.   Though I know my opinion is just one of a million and you never know a situation ’til you’ve lived it, it seems awful to me for two parents to convince themselves that their children will be fine if they split up, as long as it’s amicable and they “work together” for the kids.  Those kids’ lives will be forever altered, their needs a million times amplified, their hearts completely broken.  We’ve seen what a small change in the routine does to Mady–can you imagine divorce?? Of course, we don’t know what they’ve already adjusted to and overcome in the last months since the show stopped filming last season, but I simply can’t imagine the pain those kids will face in the next months.  Would it be difficult to live with someone you despise for the sake of the fact that you took vows in front of God and everyone else you know? Absolutely.  But there is a long road of forgiveness that you can travel with the help of God.  Should anyone have to endure a loveless marriage for the sake of kids? Absolutely not.  But love has ups and downs, and our God can restore all that seems to have been lost.  Hey–they believe Him enough to take love offerings and speaking engagements in churches all over the country, why not trust Him now?  Plus–marriage is work, no one ever has everything they want, so you might as well try to salvage what you have with the mother or father of your 8 kids, cuz there is no guarantee that life without them will be better.  As a matter of fact, it’s almost a guarantee that life without them will be pretty dern tough.

My suggestions??  Turn the cameras off and work on your marriage.  Get out of your book deal contracts and work on your marriage.  Cancel your next speaking engagement and work on your marriage.  Allow your husband to do something his way every once in a while, or you’ll be doing it your way by yourself for a long time.  Tell your wife how much you appreciate all she does to make your kids happy and keep them healthy.  When you communicate your needs effectively,  you can never say,  “He/she never does this/that,” or “I didn’t know he/she needed that.”  There are times we have to say what we need since no one reads minds.  But for Jon and Kate–I think they should have enough integrity to finish what they started when they took their vows and brought 8 kids into this world.  That’s what they should do, “for the kids.”

Am I being critical about something that’s not my business?  I don’t know–it’s out there being promoted on every website and entertainment news show.  Which then begs the question, “Is it all a publicity stunt so they can make more money and buy an even bigger new multi-million dollar house?”  Is it greed, is it infidelity, is it excusable?  I guess what we can all take from watching the show is to take a moment to evaluate our own relationships.  Consider how you speak to and treat your husband or wife.  Though it comes down to personal responsibility for your own actions, will the ripples of blame pool at your feet when the waters of marriage and family life get deep and threaten to overtake you?  Will you be able to say you’ve done your part?  Will you sink, or will you swim?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Jon and Kate–too little, too late?

  1. Kristen Wilson

    Jonelle…you could be a marriage counselor! You have the best writing skills. I totally agree with everything you have said. I’m anxious to see what happens next. I’m thinking they will seperate b/c they didn’t really act to much “in love” last night or as if they really cared.

  2. Jessica Ball

    Well-you have hit the nail on the head-they need GOd to intervene on this situation. Its so sad to reflect on this once wholesome story of this incredible situtation of a family having 8 children; now its been dimished to a tabloid field day! IT was really heartbreaking to watch the episode this week when they did not even talk or look at each other the whole episode. Kate added that she had reflected on how things were 5 yrs ago before and since the kids were born; its sad to think that its been reduced to this…its even more sad that now all this tormoil is all nicely documented for this poor children to go back to the achives one day and possibly see how their parents divorce unfolded in front of the public’s eye. I think that JOn is trying to keep things private but Kate is not doing that…I don’t know if you have seen next week’s episode but Kate and Cara go to CA for spa days and Jon said that he opted out of that trip. its really a shame…

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